made by yours truly, this blogskin haha (: its simple but oh well. i like it. But i would very much prefer it to be in black so i still can post in all my nicenice colours but now it seems my posts have to be in black, for the time being, until i can find a way.
yesterday's band was just disastrous. horrible, scary horrendous! it made me damn sad, cause i realise that i've been faking my way through 3 years of my trumpet playing. so now i'm very demoralised over that stupid embrochure thing, when i know very well its my own frigging fault for not asking for the right embrochure since secone, and now i'm stuck to this wrong one. and i'm the only one who can't do it. its like, i totally cant grasp it damnit luh. and then there's something else, but i shan't say, but yeah so totally damn pissing. haha oh and. i'm actually quite worried, cause if i can't stay for june camp then maybe i wont get to perform for arts fest... oh man. i better go ask mr tee soon, and hopefully if i promise to bring home my trumpet and prac like shit, then they'll let me perform. but until now i still freaking dont get what is the ars fest about? haha oh well. till then, that's that.
and i've been really slack. through this e-learning days. i've only finished chem for god's sake why am I so slack la! i just can't bring myself to do work. and when i see the deadlines i'll be like, okay nevermind still got like dunno how many days so i just keep thinking that way. and i dont know why i want to go JC now but i just want to and with this kind of shit results i dont know how i'm ever going to make it. DSA is now a "no-no" option cause i cant play my beloved trumpet (ohmygod it breaks my heart) shit ya and so now i'm stressing myself out over this. i've changed, i realise, alot. I never will care about this stupid kind of things, but now i'm behaving like that. i'm so prone to influence ): aw freak. lets see, i hope my math can both be A1 but emath block test just had to be that way and amath, well. shit i think i can forget about even get a L1R5 of 20, not to say 13. and they say what they want to stop minusing marks for HCL and CCA?! omg i think i'm killing myself by thinking about things like that. i just want to get life over and done with now. freak ): won't something wonderful just come and spice up my life, like good results for just ONE paper? any paper, just ONE good mark and i'll really be contented.
why is there nothing i'm good at?
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